Lifestyle, Mom Life, Parenting Tips, Relationship

The Day I Had Become the Mother I wanted to Be

The most memorable day in my life is the day I had become the mother I wanted to be.

I remember being excited and over the moon when I found that I am pregnant with my first. The happiness and love my TOT brought into my life were beyond measure. My second pregnancy gave me more pleasure because I was bringing a lifetime friend for my TOT. I was really happy when I discovered my second pregnancy and started preparing in the same way.

I cherished my second pregnancy more than my first, maybe because I was experienced and less scared. The whole pregnancy went so well with one in my arms and one in my tummy. So the day came and I gave birth to my little darling in October 2017. I was overwhelmed and was prepared for the new responsibility. I knew that I’ll be busier and I had to organize things well to meet the daily challenges.

I fell tired at times, even before Mini came because carrying older one in arms was exhausting. I wasn’t bothered by the changes, I was very well prepared for the things. But suddenly I started feeling really sad( I am not talking about Post part rum depression). I never felt so alone and shattered.

I felt sorry for my kids and their broken mother, who usually so tough, independent and strong felt barely capable of mothering. I always thought that I would make a good mom, but a new set of daily chores was really hard. I was exhausted for about a month.

New Year 2018 came to my door and one morning, bad insomnia of 4 -5 hours sleep each night brought me to my breaking point. I shouted ‘Why Me’

I looked at my kids little more and my heart skipped a beat and said It’s you because you can.

At that very moment, I promised myself that my kid’s mother will be more nurtured, emotionally supported and strong. I knew that I can overcome this attitude with small changes. I bought a planner and planned a better ME.

So, here are some tips which helped me overcome my insecurity and boosted my confidence –

1. Ask for HELP

I know that we all can manage well but its good to ask for help whenever needed. Asking for help doesn’t make you inadequate. Initial days are really tough and can make you feel low. You may get an hour alone if you accept the help from family or friend.

2. Self Love

Do not feel selfish and grab some ‘Me Time’ whenever possible. Don’t stop pampering your own self. Just start your skin care routine and try to love your gorgeous self. Take a shower daily, whether it’s at 1 am or 2 pm. Dont forget to put on your favorite clothes. No matter how much weight you have gained, just flaunt because you gave life.

 2. Sleep

This may seem like an impossible feat with a newborn, but everyone knows that quality sleep is important for happy life. You must have heard this statement “sleep when the baby sleeps”. At times its difficult to sleep but a quick nap or even closing your eyes to rest will make you happy and you can meet the needs of the baby.

3. Go Outside

All new mom feel exhausted and doesn’t want to go out. But just a simple walk of 10 minutes can brighten your spirit. Babywearing is the savior when it comes to an outing. Wear your baby as much as possible and enjoy your time.

4. Exercise

Dont use your child as an excuse not to work out, myself included. I lost my 28 kgs of Postpregnancy weight during my first and trying to lose 17kg after little darling. If you want that sadness go forever then Grab a jogging stroller, pop in a workout DVD, or do mommy and me yoga.

5. Food is Medicine

Due to new responsibility people turn to processed foods for a quick bite to eat knowing good and well it is not helping anyone.The more variety of nutrients I can eat in my diet, the better chance I have of not having any deficiencies. Try to up your protein as it will stabilize your mood.

6. Supplements

During pregnancy and lactation, we need an appropriate amount of nutrients. Being a new mom it becomes difficult to get these nutrients from food. So it’s better to take supplements on time. Initially, I used to be very lazy and skipped my supplements which made me weak and so it’s important to take supplements on time.

7. Meditate

I know its difficult but still try to begin for a minimum of 5 minutes a day of quiet, uninterrupted time for yourself to focus on enhancing your inner calm and to practice your deep breathing. Slowly increase the time to 20 minutes depending on the demands of the day. By going into that quiet and calm place it will allow you to reconnect with yourself.

8. Laughing

It’s hard to laugh and easy to be sad. Isin it ?. Even if you’re not in the mood, force yourself and laugh as much as possible. Laughter really is the best medicine.

9. Date Night

Set a time for husband and boost your relationship. Have a date night at least once in a month. Kids should be a source of good relationship, not the excuse.

Trust me…..

Motherhood is magical. It is a joyful journey filled with gratitude.

The loneliness and the exhaustion I had initially known as a mother has been banished. They are replaced by a sense of peace and wholeness.

I really thank God for bringing that day in my life. The day when I became the mother I wanted to be.

Let’s adore and enjoy the beautiful journey of motherhood.

Love

Deepali

Linking this post with Zainab from SlimExpectation for #whatILove

 

If you like what you’ve read, leave a comment below.

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17 thoughts on “The Day I Had Become the Mother I wanted to Be

  1. I think we all have that moment in our motherhood journey where we feel like we are completely incapable of handling situation and then suddenly we realise that Its only us who can do it its only us who can be there mother..getting a planner is such a cool idea

  2. What a lovely post Deepali! As a mum, I can relate to some of your points but I have only 1 child so far so far and I know bringing a friend for my little one will make such a difference for him. I live in the UK so there was no help from family. We had couple of friends though who brought food when I was in hospital post delivery of my son. Self Love is most important and mums/expecting mums need to give themselves priority and take care of themselves. Loved your post and this encouraged me to share my story on my blog sometime soon. Glad I found your blog!

    Ash | http://www.mstantrum.com

  3. Have gone through that situation where i could not even handle small things and ended up crying…These are such great and useful tips which every new mother would like to follow such that she enjoys the beautiful journey of motherhood

  4. I really enjoyed reading your post as I have been through same emotions as well. I mainly believe that we all should seek help when required, we should not kill ourselves in the whole process of I CAN DO ALL. Just like any other human we need support and should ask for it whenever required. Its a great post. and completely resonates feelings of a mother.

  5. Ask for help is one thing I was totally embarrassed about or say, I was unable to do. It always made me feel like I’m dumping my kids on someone. but your point is so valid! Loved reading through this one.

  6. These are some wonderful thoughts that will most essential for a mother. Thanks for putting it up so we can share and many can bookmark and refer. For sure all of the above mentioned a lot more needs to be taken care of.

  7. Totally agree to you! Mother’s generally stop caring about themselves… A healthy mother raises a healthy child! Amazing post ❤

  8. Asking for help, is the one thing , I feel, every mom is afraid of. But delegating tasks will only make us better parents, and not other way around.

  9. I loved your tip of baby wearing- that sounds like the best thing a new mom can do to elevate her mood and spend more time with her tiny tot. Loved your post Deepali – truly written from the heart!

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