The most memorable day in my life is the day I had become the mother I wanted to be.
I remember being excited and over the moon when I found that I am pregnant with my first. The happiness and love my TOT brought into my life were beyond measure. My second pregnancy gave me more pleasure because I was bringing a lifetime friend for my TOT. I was really happy when I discovered my second pregnancy and started preparing in the same way.
I cherished my second pregnancy more than my first, maybe because I was experienced and less scared. The whole pregnancy went so well with one in my arms and one in my tummy. So the day came and I gave birth to my little darling in October 2017. I was overwhelmed and was prepared for the new responsibility. I knew that I’ll be busier and I had to organize things well to meet the daily challenges.
I fell tired at times, even before Mini came because carrying older one in arms was exhausting. I wasn’t bothered by the changes, I was very well prepared for the things. But suddenly I started feeling really sad( I am not talking about Post part rum depression). I never felt so alone and shattered.
I felt sorry for my kids and their broken mother, who usually so tough, independent and strong felt barely capable of mothering. I always thought that I would make a good mom, but a new set of daily chores was really hard. I was exhausted for about a month.
New Year 2018 came to my door and one morning, bad insomnia of 4 -5 hours sleep each night brought me to my breaking point. I shouted ‘Why Me’
I looked at my kids little more and my heart skipped a beat and said It’s you because you can.
At that very moment, I promised myself that my kid’s mother will be more nurtured, emotionally supported and strong. I knew that I can overcome this attitude with small changes. I bought a planner and planned a better ME.
So, here are some tips which helped me overcome my insecurity and boosted my confidence –
1. Ask for HELP
I know that we all can manage well but its good to ask for help whenever needed. Asking for help doesn’t make you inadequate. Initial days are really tough and can make you feel low. You may get an hour alone if you accept the help from family or friend.
2. Self Love
Do not feel selfish and grab some ‘Me Time’ whenever possible. Don’t stop pampering your own self. Just start your skin care routine and try to love your gorgeous self. Take a shower daily, whether it’s at 1 am or 2 pm. Dont forget to put on your favorite clothes. No matter how much weight you have gained, just flaunt because you gave life.
This may seem like an impossible feat with a newborn, but everyone knows that quality sleep is important for happy life. You must have heard this statement “sleep when the baby sleeps”. At times its difficult to sleep but a quick nap or even closing your eyes to rest will make you happy and you can meet the needs of the baby.
3. Go Outside
All new mom feel exhausted and doesn’t want to go out. But just a simple walk of 10 minutes can brighten your spirit. Babywearing is the savior when it comes to an outing. Wear your baby as much as possible and enjoy your time.
Dont use your child as an excuse not to work out, myself included. I lost my 28 kgs of Postpregnancy weight during my first and trying to lose 17kg after little darling. If you want that sadness go forever then Grab a jogging stroller, pop in a workout DVD, or do mommy and me yoga.
5. Food is Medicine
Due to new responsibility people turn to processed foods for a quick bite to eat knowing good and well it is not helping anyone.The more variety of nutrients I can eat in my diet, the better chance I have of not having any deficiencies. Try to up your protein as it will stabilize your mood.
During pregnancy and lactation, we need an appropriate amount of nutrients. Being a new mom it becomes difficult to get these nutrients from food. So it’s better to take supplements on time. Initially, I used to be very lazy and skipped my supplements which made me weak and so it’s important to take supplements on time.
I know its difficult but still try to begin for a minimum of 5 minutes a day of quiet, uninterrupted time for yourself to focus on enhancing your inner calm and to practice your deep breathing. Slowly increase the time to 20 minutes depending on the demands of the day. By going into that quiet and calm place it will allow you to reconnect with yourself.
It’s hard to laugh and easy to be sad. Isin it ?. Even if you’re not in the mood, force yourself and laugh as much as possible. Laughter really is the best medicine.
9. Date Night
Set a time for husband and boost your relationship. Have a date night at least once in a month. Kids should be a source of good relationship, not the excuse.
Motherhood is magical. It is a joyful journey filled with gratitude.
The loneliness and the exhaustion I had initially known as a mother has been banished. They are replaced by a sense of peace and wholeness.
I really thank God for bringing that day in my life. The day when I became the mother I wanted to be.
Let’s adore and enjoy the beautiful journey of motherhood.
Linking this post with Zainab from SlimExpectation for #whatILove
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