Back To School, Mom Life, Parenting Tips

How To Stop A Child From Crying At School Drop Off

“Mumma, stay here, don’t go”.

“Mumma, I don’t want to go to school”.

Hearing these words with tears rolling down my lil one’s eyes broke my heart. As a parent, it is extremely overwhelming to drop off kids at school and when its the starting phase, kids find it uneasy too. Separation anxiety, fear of unknown and being aeay from their safe comfort zone triggers those tears and its just the matter of minutes at drop off. My lil one would cry at drop off and would have a wonderful day at school. This contrasting behaviour is quite common and it makes parents think they are doing something wrong. If you have child who cries at the drop offs, here are some smart and effective ways which worked for me and you try implementing it to stop those sprakly lil eyes being teary:

1. Talk and prepare them at home and on the way.

Ask them why they feel sad and cry at the time of drop off and listen to them. Sometimes, it might not be just separation from you, but the ambience of school, or a classmate or any minor inconvinience which they don’t know how to deal with. For example, a friend of mine said her child would cry at the time of drop off because she was unable to put her bag down from her shoulders easily like other kids which made her feel vulnerable. She would be okay once the teacher enters and helps her but drop offs were hard. Once she figured that out, she switched her bag and there was no crying. It might seem silly, but for kids, everything is new and out of their comfort zone. So talk it out and find the reason. Also on the way to school, prepare them by saying things like, ” We will reach school in 5 minutes and you will meet your friends and teachers”

2. Do not leave them crying

Leave only when they are calm and comfortable. Let them know that you are there to look after them and they are safe. Calm them by hugs and tell them that you will see them again when they finish their school. Get them excited to attend their class and tell them its their school, so you can’t go inside with them, but they have their teachers and friends to talk and play with.

3. No scolding or bribing

Scolding in such conditions may lead them keeping things to themselves in fear and holding up their emotions and bribing will make them go to school only for treats. It is important to make them realise the importance of school and learning in a good and real way.

4. Give them your picture to keep.

Put a picture of yours in their bag and let them know that mumma will be with you if you need her. They can calm down just by looking at your picture as they feel a sence of familiarity and comfort.

5. Make a special drop off handshake ritual.

I tried this and it worked magically. Make a sequence of claps, snapsand handshakes with your child and do it only at the time of the drop off. This makes it special and instead of being reminded about the separation, they will look forward to that special magical handshake with mumma and will start their day at school without tears.

6. Make school special for them

While descibring school to them, make it special and exciting for them. Tell them how they can learn new things and make new friends at school and how their teachers must be waiting for them to attend the classes. This makes them look forward to going to school and creates positive impression about it. Avoid sentences like ” I will take you home once you finish school”, instead, try saying “I am sure you will have a good day. Have fun at school“.

7. Find The Best Time To Drop Off

Many kids start crying when they see other kids crying. And some start crying if they don’t see familiar faces in the beginning. If you come in the former category, consider reaching school 5 minutes early than usual time and if you fall in the later, reach when there are maximum footfalls. Observe your child’s behaviour during various times and you see figure out what is the best time for you.

8. No Negative Talks With Fellow Parents

Refrain from talking anything negative about school with other parents infront of kids. Children catch clues from our words and behaviour very fast and act accordingly. Master small talks in presence of kids at drop off, and if you feel you need to talk to them about something, do it once the kids reach their class.

9. Give Them Enough Proper Rest

Kids who are not well slept act more clingy and moody. Do fix their sleep schedule according to school time and make sure they get 9-10 hours of sound sleep. Chances of throwing a tantrum of a well rested kid are lower and it might help at drop offs as well.

10. Talk To Teachers Of What Needs To Be Done

I have seen parents telling teachers to treat kids however they like and consider them their own. Everybody’s parenting style is different and it make child feel lost and unsafe at school. Be clear and talk to the teachers of how to calm your kid if they are crying and what works best to soothe them. If the teachers know well in advance of how to handle your child, they will follow through and it will make you child feel more welcomed and comfortable in school.

Also, do teach your kids to talk about how they feel and vent out their emotions. This helps alot as when they can express themselves, you can think well in advance of what to do to stop them crying at drop off.

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